Some children’s bedtime stories involve fairies, princesses and frogs; ours always involved our family living under a bridge destitute, homeless and filled with shame. These nightly warnings came from her uncontrollable fear that our way of life would be swept away should my father’s alcoholism be discovered by the outer world. She tirelessly lied; covering his tracks to ensure her three little chicks weren’t cast out of society and into the gutter. We were expected to follow suit and thus I received my PHD in Lying Arts before the age of twelve.
Tag : Mansions Madness and Mayhem
Chapter 13
I can’t put all the blame on my parents or my nose for my enormous inferiority complex; my hip played a big role. Having been born without a right hip bone made me a little bit of a freak from the get-go. My early years were spent in pillow splint braces that pulled my feet together and pushed my knees out. Sitting Indian style is still a synch for me, even at my age. My mother, God bless her, had been raised Methodist. The Methodist aren’t big on the whole miracle thing unless it is to explain all the stuff that Jesus did in the Bible. But my mother was an out of the box thinker and all those years I couldn’t walk and sat on the floor in those big ugly metal leg braces, my scrawny little knees poking out to the side like a frog, she just kept praying. Sure enough God grew me a hip bone and by the time I was three I was able to walk.
Chapter 14
My middle sister was always claiming she was talking to fairies in the woods around our house and aliens had abducted her as excuse for always missing curfew. Growing up in a family where insanity was the norm, my instincts taught me to question everything and everybody.
Chapter 17
There weren’t a lot of photos of me in our house, I guess because I looked a lot like Edward Scissor Hands from the waist down, without the cute pouty expression, at least until I was three. After that I think my parents didn’t want to document my development. Denial would be everything if I was ever arrested.
Chapter 18
Kids from screwed up families become all kinds of things. We hide ourselves behind silence, heavy make-up, sexual promiscuity, rebellion, performance. Our school, like all schools, was full of girls like this; we are a sorority with different chapters. The Mean Girls chapter was the one no one wanted to mess with; their raccoon eyes, thick with black eye liner, relayed stories of abuse and rage. No one was listening.
Chapter 19
Knees knocking, I bent down to retrieve my belongings. I saw the girl with the knife as she hit the pavement, her head snapped against the concrete. She didn’t get up. The Dragon girl kicked the switch blade over to me with her boot, “Pick it up,” she said. The metal handle was still hot from the Mean girl’s grip only seconds before. It felt good in my hands. A sudden rush of confidence swept through me.
Chapter 20
The tiny Episcopal mission of my choosing had a congregation of less than a hundred. It was the summer of 1969. No one wore choir robes like in the Baptist church. No one spewed out hell and damnation messages. No one seemed to care that I was an ugly misfit with a nose that swallowed my whole face.
The Vicar sat in the center isle of the tiny chapel and shared stories about the life of Jesus. Shame based at my very core, Baptist preaching had always stirred the hornets’ nest. But in the summer of 1969 I forgot all about religion and fell in love with the Real Jesus. The Vicar’s stories transformed Christ from some historical distant figure to a living, breathing man who struggled and hurt and had been rejected. I could relate to that! Sundays couldn’t come fast enough. The little red-brick light-filled chapel became an ethereal realm where I felt safe and accepted.
Chapter 25
In the slammer, graffitied walls held pearls of wisdom: Don’t trust nobody, Life sucks, basic information I had learned by nursery school.
Decoding decades of teen hieroglyphics carved into the wooden table in the middle of the large holding cell brought with it a disturbing reality. It wasn’t the quality of art that bothered me or the string of obscenities; it was the idea that clearly knifes weren’t so hard to come by in juve. I hadn’t even brought a marker, clearly I was uninitiated.
I heard the large metal door to the cell clang open, and in stepped Godzilla with his handler. The enormous, hairy youth was handcuffed to a police officer whose face I didn’t recognize. He half-pulled, half-pushed his teenage hostage into the cell. Godzilla turned for the officer to uncuff him. Obviously he knew the drill. Neither said a word. I tried to look tough in my hip-hugging bell bottoms and Elton John platform shoes. I shook my long blonde shag hairdo while they weren’t paying attention, hoping for a less manicured, more street-wise persona. I hoisted myself onto the top of the table and sat down, planting my feet squarely on the bench below. Godzilla glared at me from under his shaggy hair; our eyes met. I didn’t flinch, but my heart pounded out a John Bonham drum solo in my chest.
Chapter 26
I began plotting new strategies to eliminate the monster in our midst. The more authority he exerted, the more rebellious I became. Without much effort, our battle of wits turned into a full-contact sport, and some days I was winning. Point and counterpoint, check and checkmate. When he went to the country club for his five-martini lunches, I skipped school and charged lunch to his bill at the club, making sure to waltz past the bar in my bathing suit smiling sweetly into his drunken face. When he threatened me with another lock-up, I threatened him with what I knew about his drinking before going into the courtroom to try a case. I knew where every liquor bottle was hidden in his office. I was completely capable of exposing him, of ruining him; he could feel my palpable hatred and I his.